Irreversable Bonding, and No I Am Not Talking About Super Glue

It has been an extremely busy week, much as one would imagine for having spent it celebrating our ten year wedding anniversary on a cruise to the Bahamas (sans children) with a couple that Leslie and I knew from Atlanta. No, we haven’t hit our anniversary as of yet this year, but I would imagine trying to plan some sort of vacation (away from the kids) in the weeks leading up to Christmas and Ayla’s first birthday would tend to get a little difficult so we decided to accelerate our schedule just a little bit.

Last Friday I flew down and joined the rest of my family in Atlanta where I spent the weekend enjoying the company of my wife and children as well as preparing for our cruise. Sunday, after visiting our old church, we went back to my mom and dad’s place and put the kids down for a nap. I still needed a swimsuit so my sister and I headed off to the store. It would appear that both Target and Walmart stop selling swimsuits for large-waisted individuals sometime before the last week of August; after having visited four different stores I finally settled on a pair of athletic shorts.

Since we were scheduled to leave early Monday morning, we had decided to stay the night with this other couple that way we could just get up and go the next morning without having to get up at some obscene hour of the morning. After putting the kids to bed, Leslie and I found out that the other couple was in the area dropping off their own children so we were able to catch a ride back to their home with them. As soon as we got into their home they immediately went upstairs to prepare the guest bedroom for us; I walked into the living room to have a seat on the couch. As I walked in I was a little startled to see a small black snake (about eight inches) slithering across the floor towards the couch. Quickly I reached down and tried to grab it only to have it elude my grasp and squeeze under the couch.

Not knowing Leslie’s friend’s feelings towards creatures of the sub-order serpentes, I went upstairs and quietly pulled the husband to the side and describe the situation. We went back downstairs and began the search for the snake. It wasn’t too long before we got the couch propped up and shined a flashlight underneath. When we did we discovered that the snake I originally thought had been entirely black in color was, in fact, not. It actually very closely resembled the coloring of a copperhead. We spent another 20 minutes before we were finally able to capture the elusive snake and being uncertain of the exact species (the coloring was that of a copperhead, but the head shape wasn’t quite right, it could have just been because it was so small) we elected to kill it. I suppose there are very few bonding experiences quite like trying to capture a potentially venomous snake, in your home, late at night, right before you go on vacation.

This week has been the first time that Leslie has been away from either of our kids for more than a day, much less both of them. While we have both missed our children, I will say that this is the way to be away. At one point I even went the large part of a day forgetting that I even had children or at least coming as close to that concept as one possibly can. The weather was not great (we only had one day of sunshine) but overall we had a great time relaxing and just spending time with each other. There is something to be said about days when the most important decision you have to make is whether or not you should eat another ice cream cone… the answer is yes, the answer is always yes.

Despite the poor weather we still had a lot of fun; we have a certain level of compatibility with this couple. Let’s just say that if we had played nearly as much cards or attended nearly as many trivia events with any other couple we would have likely walked away not wanting to spend any more time with for the next 28 years. That said, we did other things together as well, like eating ice cream and playing shuffleboard. Friday morning I woke up and my rear end and my arms were very sore. Puzzled as to the reason why I made passing mention of this to my male counterpart; equally as puzzled he made note that he was also sore in the same areas. It was at this point we realized we were sore from playing shuffleboard the previous day… that’s right ladies and gentlemen; I got muscle soreness from playing shuffleboard.

All said we had an excellent time; however, we were all ready to get back to our children by the end of the week. We got back to Atlanta around 1500 Saturday afternoon where we were enthusiastically greeted by each of our children. A nap free afternoon, a large meal at a Greek restaurant, and two children in bed by 2030 later and I am about ready to fall asleep standing up. With that I bid adieu.

Time for a Serious Talk

I have, for weeks, avoided watching any of the Planned Parenthood videos. When Leslie asked if I had watched any of them, I told her, “No, I already know what is going on.” And really, anyone who didn’t know what was going on before these videos were released was either delusional or simply had never spent any amount of time thinking about it, which is where I think most people got caught up. Ultimately this should not shock any of us, it may horrify us, but it should not shock us, because this is the only rational outcome for anyone who has made the decision that abortion is an act defined by right and rationality.

If one claims that an abortion is a fundamental human right then the fetus is not a human life and any restrictions on it are an affront to a woman’s right to choice. If that fetus has no right to life, then there is simply no reason why its tissue should not be used for medical research, research which could potentially benefit all of mankind. From this perspective, the only ethical question raised by the Planned Parenthood videos is “why aren’t the women having the abortion compensated for their donations?”

Of course, it’s not entirely that simple, from one perspective the ethicality of the actions taken by those in the video is not really the question, it is the legality of those actions, and perhaps rightfully so. It would appear that the women in the videos are caught discussing a number of violations of US law regarding the sale and trafficking of human tissue. However, if one abides by the premise that a fetus is not a person then one should be angered, not by the videos, but by the very nature of the laws which have brought up the question of legality of the actions of those caught on camera. Simply put, privacy issues aside, discarding human tissue is a waste and any law prohibiting the transfer of such material to medical research should be considered “unethical.” One can question what type of moral behavior such donations and research might lead to in the absence of said legislation but that is not the purpose of this article.

Of course, the alternative perspective is just as radical. If one starts from the premise that a fetus is a human being then that human being has a right to life until it consciously takes actions that cause forfeiture to that right to life, i.e. if that person robs the residence of a homeowner in Texas, this would be forfeiture of that right to life since the individual has done so knowing full well that the state of Texas allows for the defense of one’s property, using lethal means if necessary. The key here is conscious action, if one unintentionally harms or kills another human being that individual has often forfeited their rights to liberty and the pursuit of happiness, but not their right to life. A fetus still located in the womb does not have the ability to make such conscious actions and thus its fundamental right to life cannot be forfeited… period, no exceptions. Not in the case of danger to a mother’s life, not in the case of incest, and most certainly not in the case of rape.

That is an aspect of the argument that I see so few people address. Many people are all for laws prohibiting abortion but they ignore little statements in these laws like “except in cases of rape, incest or danger to the life of the mother.” To allow such exclusions eat away at the moral argument, to the point you are no longer pro-life, you are simply anti-abortion, a position which ultimately has no moral argument.

What frustrates me about this issue is those who insist on trying to take the middle ground, a position (or number of positions) that simply cannot exist. To take the middle ground erodes so much of the argument that you simply have nothing left to stand on. Either a fetus is alive and has a fundamental right to life which cannot be taken away, or it is not and any laws prohibiting abortion impugn a woman’s right to liberty and the pursuit of her own happiness. It really is that simple.

Our legal system has gotten so screwed up trying to take the middle ground that no one can make heads or tails of when life [legally] begins. Abortion is legal up to a certain point, but if the abortion is botched and the fetus exits the birth canal with a beating heart every effort must be made to save the infant’s life. Abortion is legal because a fetus is not defined as having life, yet if one murders a pregnant woman they are charged with two counts of homicide. The list goes on.

I point out the radicalism of each position and the necessity to adopt one or the other for one purpose. There is only one position which does not go against every fiber of our being. Consider the videos, who watched even a single one of those and didn’t cringe at the words and actions of those on camera? That cringe is a natural response to the moral fiber woven into the very fabric of our person, we are perfectly capable of stomping it out, but it takes time and effort. There is something inherent within us that tells us abortion is a terrible action (at least there is when we are honest about what is happening); Holly O’Donnell made the point in her interview that this act leaves emotional scars; something that is right doesn’t cause the pain (emotionally) that abortion does; and rightfully so! We have assuaged our consciences by inventing terms like fetus and tissue to refer to a child; all this is done in an effort to fool ourselves into thinking this act is anything but what it really is.

I spent quite a lot of time trying to close this newsletter out. It originally started simply as an outlet for my feelings of frustration and helplessness; eventually it morphed into something more than that. But how to close it? I started, stopped, and rewrote this paragraph several times. Finally, I had a conversation with a friend this morning that gave me fresh perspective. As with most things prayer is one of the most effective solutions, but all too often we feel that are prayers are weak and ineffectual and perhaps they are. We have been fooled into thinking we are isolated in our prayers, we have been fooled into thinking that we are alone in this. Much like a lion will separate the weakest animal from the herd; Satan has separated us from the body and is ready to pounce. We are not alone; it is time we united in our prayers against the strongholds Satan has established in our cities. What do you think would happen if seven churches in every city in America decided to begin praying one day a week to bring about the close of one of the greatest genocides in the history of the world; specific and intentional prayer? How long do you think it would take God to start moving in response to the prayers of the saints? History has shown time and again that when the saints mobilize en masse in prayer that God moves, not that God needs our prayers to move, but he responds to them! Write me off as crazy if you wish, but I for one will be encouraging my home church body to begin meeting regularly in prayer.

The Nerd is Strong with This One

I had a couple more nerd moments this week as illustrated in the photos below. Before you ask, yes that is the Millennium Falcon made out of yogurt, and no, I do not know why the cash register says that it is out of windshield washer fluid. The guy at Home Depot seemed thoroughly confused when I told him that his self-checkout machine needed washer fluid.

My mom and sister flew out this morning with Leslie and the kids leaving me home alone for the next week. This is the first time in a long while since I have been back to bachelor status and I’m not quite certain what I should be doing with my time. Right now it is a toss-up between finishing my newsletter and going to bed at 2045. Woohoo! I get my wife and kids out of the house and the first thing I contemplate doing is going to bed early. I really need to figure out a new project to start; otherwise this week is going to go downhill fast. The next thing you know I’ll be eating leftover pretzels and cinnamon rolls for dinner then polishing it off with a bit of chocolate cake topped with ice cream… wait, that has already happened. Someone send help, preferably in the form of a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter.

As a believer in a God who listens to our prayers it should not surprise me to see Him answer them, and truth be told, I am not usually surprised when He does. This week I was a little startled by the specificity with which he answered one of my prayers. When Gideon prayed to God for confirmation he asked that the fleece would be wet and the ground dry, the following night he asked that the fleece would be dry and the ground wet (Judges 6:36-40). In both cases God answered Gideon’s prayer in great detail. Had I been in Gideon’s shoes I probably would have been satisfied if only one of the conditions of my prayer had been met. I think this is largely due to the fact that because as an American Christian culture we have settled; we are so desperate to hear God’s voice yet we are largely unwilling to actually believe that He will answer our prayers in a big and miraculous fashion. This has resulted in the fact that we have become willing to accept the most insignificant details as signs of answered prayer.

“God I asked that you would make the fleece wet and the ground dry and… well… They are both wet. I guess this probably counts,” or even “God, I went to water the lawn and I accidentally got the fleece wet; now the fleece is wet and the ground is dry, is this what you’re giving me?”

What’s worse is when we run with this and we never consider the fact that maybe it was just dew, or perhaps God was even specifically not giving us confirmation of our prayers. My God is bigger than this little logical, rational, scientific box that I sometimes try to put Him in. God listens to our prayers and He is willing to answer them if we will just get out of the way. I’m not saying the God behaves like a vending machine, but it is a rare request that God answers while we are still trying to help things along under our own power.

One thing about that story of Gideon rings particularly true in my own life, Gideon had already determined He was going to be obedient, Gideon had already decided that he was going to follow the path God led him down, he just wanted confirmation that he was on the right path. I had already decided to follow God if He led me down this path; I merely wanted confirmation that this was where He was taking me. To steal a point from a book written by a buddy of mine, if you want to really see God answer your prayers, decide before you even begin praying that you are going to be obedient to where God leads, then just stand back and watch the fireworks.

Turn to the Dork Side

Sheesh, last week wrapped up my third consecutive week of travel, by the time I got home late Friday night I was exhausted and completely spent for the weekend, despite the fact that I still wound up going in to work late one night just to get caught up on some things I wasn’t able to do while I was in North Carolina. It was nice to finally have an entire week where I did not go anywhere, not even locally. It was also nice because I got to start (and finish) another project. Although I will say this, I am more than a little frustrated with the levelness of the floors in my house, about half of the furniture in my house doesn’t sit straight on one leg… and before you ask, yes, I know the stuff I built is straight… I think.

A few weeks ago my mother responded to a comment that I had made in one of my newsletters that certain thoughts I was having and actions I was considering were a sign of maturity; don’t get too excited the instance in particular that she was referencing dealt with Chickfila and ice cream. Anyway, it got me thinking, so in my efforts to prove her wrong I went out and pre-ordered a Nerf gun on Amazon. That’s right; I went and spent money on a Nerf gun that had not even been released at that time. That particular weapon came in early this week and I have two words, it’s awesome.

Unlike the typical darts that are fired from your average Nerf gun this weapon of childhood destruction shoots little foam balls roughly the size of a paintball. In fact, I would say that this particular series is Nerf’s attempt to create a hybrid between paintball and Nerf. The box claims that the little foam ball can leave the barrel at speeds of 100 MPH. No that wasn’t a typo, it is supposed to shoot around 100 miles per hour. After having played with it for a couple of days I would say that I am inclined to believe their claims. Keeping in mind that this is a little foam ball that quickly begins losing speed even before it leaves the barrel, it packs quite a punch, although not quite as bad as you are probably picturing one object striking another object at 100MPH would be. The balls sting but they don’t leave welts. If you look closely at the picture you will notice a little orange button just above the trigger. That’s right ladies and gentlemen; this Nerf gun has a safety. Only dangerous things have safeties.

I posted a picture of my order when I initially placed it and the parents of one of my students decided that it would be beneficial to ensure their child was adequately equipped for our next Nerf battle at the church, they ended up buying three of them. This week will be the first true battle, unrestricted Nerf warfare at its finest… I told our pastor that I’m pretty certain someone is going to die. He was on board.

This past week I introduced Leslie to a card game, one that threw me back to my high school and college days, if not exactly the same one we used to play, at least the same in function. Now, when I say card game, understand that I am not talking about a deck of 52 cards made by Bicycle, no, I am referring to a deck of 400+ cards with witches, moats, militia, estates, silver, gold, and so much more. That’s right; I have officially turned Leslie to the Dork Side. This is all part of my master plan to ensure that she is onboard with spending our 10^th wedding anniversary doing what any other self-respecting Star Wars fan will be doing on December 18^th, going out and watching the release of Episode VII.

This time next week I will have either posted a newsletter describing the details of an epic Nerf battle or I will be in prison charged being the first person to have ever been charged with manslaughter with a Nerf gun… either way, it should be a good time all around.