Another Unexpected Change

I will say this; I really did intend to write a newsletter last week, even though I was on vacation.  However, I encountered one minor problem on Monday whenever I trekked down the mountain to obtain a usable cell and/or Wi-Fi signal; I had forgotten my laptop charger at home.  Home home, not vacation home.  Furthermore, my battery strength was sitting at a measly 7%, or just enough to boot up, search for a Wi-Fi signal and then promptly shut down.  While I was able to get most of my work done using only my cell phone that is where I draw the line.  I refuse to compose my weekly epic utilizing only a cell phone touch screen keyboard.

Other than that minor hiccup vacation was awesome.  We got to spend a little over a week in the mountains of Colorado enjoying the company of most of my side of the family.  Jack’s sleep was a little disrupted with several nights where he woke up screaming and was inconsolable until Leslie or I picked him up and held him.  Of course, when this happened at 2am our natural reaction was to bring him into the bed with us.  Unfortunately for us, bringing him into our bed must have signaled that it was time to get up and play because he went from an exhausted 11 month old to a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed one.  I do have to admit, even in my sleep deprived state I found it hilarious when from the dark next to me I would hear a sudden “Raaaaar” in his quiet, gravelly voice.  I guess that is what I get for teaching him the [presumed] sound of a dinosaur as his first animal noise.  As it turns out, Jack also knows what sound a monkey makes.  Great, monkeys and dinosaurs, if my child is ever stuck playing Jumanji he will fit right in.  One other thing we learned was that my child, much like a dog, really enjoys gnawing on a good rib bone.  We found this particular bone while we were hiking in the woods, it looked vaguely human.  I kid of course, but it seems that an appreciation of good barbecue begins at a very young age.

During my vacation I had the opportunity to travel about 30 miles over back country trails in the mountains of San Isabel National Forest over the course of a couple of days… granted, I did so while riding my dirt bike, but travel them I did.  The first day I went with a large group of family members (not to be mistaken for a group of large family members) and while I was on my bike and significantly more mobile, they all rode quads.  It took us several hours, but we arrived at the top of the mountain and nearly everyone was feeling the effects of having ridden over seven miles of rough terrain and no one was looking forward to the trip back down.  The next day I decided to go up and ride one of the trails we had passed, one where bikes were allowed, but quads were not.  Yea… that turned out to be a mistake.  I can do up and down steep hills and I can do very narrow trails; what I have a hard time doing is those two items combined with large rocks and trees blocking the trail.  This would have been a tough hiking trail, much less trying it on a dirt bike.  Nevertheless, a little over an hour later I had finally finished the mile long section of that trail.  Exhausted, I parked my bike at the campground and hiked a bit further to the lake; I sat down and watched some people fish while I rested.  Eventually I recovered enough energy to make my back to my bike and start back down the mountain.  Knowing that you couldn’t pay me enough money to take the same trail back down that I had taken up, I decided to take the trail we had ridden the previous day, all seven miles of it.  An hour later I was back at my mom and dad’s place being greeted by a somewhat worried wife.  That’s right, it took roughly the same amount of time to travel the last seven miles of trail that it did to ride the first one.  Fantastic.

In other news I GE offered me a new job as a Project Manager up in Schenectady, New York.  While I have suspected that the offer was coming for a couple of weeks (after an interview I had a while back), the actual offer did not come until two Fridays ago, the first day of my vacation.  After much prayer and careful deliberation, Leslie and I have decided to take the role.  New York is going to be different for us, it is not a place that either one of us has ever pictured moving.  That said we are both very excited about the opportunities God has in store for us up there.  Granted, I wish all of this had happened about a month ago before we signed the lease on the house we are renting… oh well.  As long as we can cut through all of the red tape I am supposed to start my new role on September 15^th.  At this point I expect to be up there for a couple of weeks before I try to move Leslie and Jack up.  Hopefully that will give us time to get our affairs in order in Lubbock before we have to move.  I expect that you will hear more about this as the weeks go on.  In the meantime, we ask for your prayers as we try to pack the things we need to pack, sell the things we need to sell, and say goodbye to the people we need to say goodbye to.  This move will not be easy for us, granted, the past few moves have not been; however, this one more than most.  This is the first time we have had a project abruptly cut short, always before we have had plenty of advanced warning for when we would leave.  Here it felt like we were just getting established only to be uprooted and moved across the country.  For that we request your thoughts and prayers.  Until next week.

Infants Should Not Be Allowed to Drive

I had the opportunity to teach the youth Sunday school class this past weekend, granted I was the second alternate, but I got to teach a youth SS class again!  I had forgotten how much fun that was… or how useful of a skill it is to be able to instantly recall a large number of grim or gory Bible stories.  I have to say I was a bit rusty and I got a little bit bogged down in the content (and as a result had to rush my conclusion), but overall I thought it went really well.  At least it was right up until the point one of the girls started crying.  I mean… I didn’t think my teaching was that bad.  But seriously, afterwards I was able to sit down with a couple of the students and comfort the weeping girl, turns out it was an issue completely unrelated to my teaching.

The whole scenario brought about a new realization within myself though, a new perspective, not really a new idea, just a better understanding of an old one.  As we talked about prayer requests my heart was burdened as I listened to the kids share their problems and part of me smiled inwardly as their problems seemed so small compared to those I experience as an adult.  Don’t get me wrong, I understand that to these kids their problems are huge and they genuinely are distressed by them, I am only saying that, in comparison to the problems they will experience later in life their current woes are insignificant.  What struck me is that this is how God probably views our own issues… insignificant.  The worst things that can possibly happen to us, loss of a job, serious injury, death of a loved one, all of these problems are insignificant to our awesome and all powerful God.  This is the being that is responsible for the creation of the universe, for first breathing life into man, for the resurrection of His own Son (and numerous others), can we honestly believe that any of our problems pose any significant hurdles to Him?

Never again will I let this kid drive… at least not until he is 32.

Wednesday night was the monthly youth outing and this month they opted to visit a place that served as a combination bowling alley/arcade/pizza joint/laser tag arena/pool hall.  Once again I had the opportunity to demonstrate my proficiency in laser tag and my lack of proficiency in bowling.  I did discover that I am capable of throwing a bowling ball fast/hard enough to break the sensor that records the speed of the ball. Go me!  Naturally this led me to start thinking about what the land speed record was for a bowling ball… Hmmm…  This is probably not a train of thought that is safe or beneficial to my overall health or wellbeing.  This probably goes hand in hand with my idea for putting a cantaloupe into orbit (I was trying to find a good image to go with this, but, perhaps unsurprisingly, the Google search for “cantaloupes in outer space” did not return anything useful).

As many of you have heard, GE recently changed my compensation package, representing some significant changes for how I am reimbursed and/or compensated for living on the road.  Without going into too much detail, suffice it to say that it is no longer profitable for me to live in the smaller living quarters of a camper.  About a month ago Leslie and I began searching for a house to rent; we found the one we wanted almost immediately.  After nearly three and a half weeks of price and contract negotiation we were able to get moved in last week.  While the house is significantly more space than we need, we are very much looking forward to being able to host people and events in our new home, something we have been previously unable to do.

Jesus, take the wheel because I sure as heck can’t reach the brake!

One interesting note, Leslie and I had only seen the house one time before we decided to sign the lease and eventually move in.  That said, that one visit had been fairly thorough in terms of looking at all the rooms and conceptualizing how we would set things up.  However, when I was doing the walk down with the landlord I discovered a whole other room that I had missed on my previous visit.  Once Leslie came over I showed her the room, she didn’t remember it either.  I’m a little concerned that one day one of those rooms and everything (or everyone) in it is just going to disappear.

So this past weekend, Leslie and I got moved into our new house, and speaking as one who, in my entire adult life, has never had a garage, “Garages are awesome!”  Don’t get me wrong, having all this new found space is great, but I think my favorite thing so far has been our garage.  Granted, neither one of our vehicles will fit inside the garage, but it is still awesome.

I may not have a newsletter next week; we are going up to Colorado to spend some time with my extended family.  Cell reception and internet connections will be spotty, if not nonexistent.  On top of that, I may be entirely too caught up in hiking, dirt biking, and just relaxing to take the time to write a newsletter.  Fear not, you will hear from me again, just probably not next week.

Contentment and Generosity

I’ve sat on this newsletter for a couple of weeks now, primarily because when I first started writing it I had forgotten about my intent to address my cousin’s marriage.  For those of you who read my last two newsletters, thank you for doing so; thank you for commenting and sharing on Facebook.  I get a kick out of putting a smile on people’s faces and I have had a much larger audience the past couple of weeks.  Thank you.  This week is a little light on the humor side… ok, full disclosure, it is nonexistent.  Regardless, this week I wanted to address a topic that has weighed heavy on me for a number of years; I wanted to share a lesson I have recently learned.

I don’t typically enjoy talking about the financial wealth God has chosen to bless my family with.  I don’t fully comprehend why.  Part of it, I think, is rooted in the idea that I do not wish to boast because I understand that it is solely by the grace of God that I have what I do, but I also think some of it stems from the fact that I am moderately embarrassed by the fact that I have so much while so many others have so little.  This idea has been a topic of conversation numerous times with my mentor but my recent studies in Ecclesiastes have produced more insight into the matter than I have ever had before.  Much of it has proven to be a source of great comfort and this is what I wanted to share this with you.

Let me start by emphasizing that my material wealth is not what a makes me blessed.  This is not to say that material wealth is not a blessing, merely that it is not the source of the state of me being blessed.  I am blessed because I have an assurance of salvation from a Savior who came to this earth and died for my sins, and an assurance that I will spend eternity with that very same Savior.  I am blessed because the Creator of the universe desires to have a personal relationship with me and has given me His written Word to study as often as I choose.  Outside of these things I have a number of blessings (more than I will ever be able to count) but none of them contribute one iota more to the state of me being blessed.

I think my embarrassment stems from the fact that I don’t understand why God chose to give me the things He did.  I am not worthy of those things, in fact, there are many others who are more worthy than I who are making do with much less.  That said, I trust that I am following the path that God has set before me; I do what he calls me to do and I give (of my time, resources, and other capacities) where he calls me to give.  It is in this that I have always sought to comfort my shame.  My recent studies have taken me beyond this; my recent studies have shed a whole new light on the matter.  Ultimately they have not answered the question why, but they have gone a long way to alleviate what could be described as my guilt.

One of the first things I must do is determine if my so-called guilt is warranted, i.e. do I feel guilty because I have sinned against God?  The quick answer is no, I am following the path he has laid out for me; I try to be sensitive to his promptings and to give wherever he calls me to do so.  Often these prompts come in the form of my wife’s requests to give to or support others, but other times are simply where I know I am being led.  This means that I am not miserly or stingy but it still comes down to one ultimate question, “do I love my wealth?”  Eccl 5:10 gives us a litmus test for our love of money.  “Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income.  This too is meaningless.”  The question is, “am I satisfied with what I have or am I always craving more?  Matthew Henry says, “but to a covetous man, who thinks all lost that goes beside himself, it is a constant vexation to see others eat of his increase.”  To put it simply, a greedy man hates to see others enjoying the fruit of his labors.

I am content with what I have.  If God chooses to give me more I will be content with that as well; if he chooses to give me less and take away even that which I have, I will still be content.  1 Timothy 6:6 says “But godliness with contentment is great gain.”  Furthermore, I enjoy being able to share what I have with others.  Few things delight my wife as much as being able to share our own abundance, and while I share her delight, it brings me nearly as much joy to simply have the ability to exercise her delight in this fashion.  I count myself fortunate indeed that I can answer that my guilt is unwarranted.

Ecclesiastes chapter 5 doesn’t end there though, it continues with verses 19 and 20.  “Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God.  They seldom reflect on the days of their life, because God keeps them occupied with gladness of heart.”  When I read these verses this week I nearly broke down into tears; here was the confirmation I had been searching for, wealth is God’s gift when he also grants the ability to enjoy it and to be satisfied in your work.  There are few people I’ve spoken with who’ve not heard about my job and how content I am in doing it.  My passion for what I do overflows into every other aspect of my life.  I cannot help but share my opportunity and experience with others.  What’s really interesting is what chapter 4 has to say about the matter, and of course I’m paraphrasing, but Solomon speaks to how to the wicked, riches and wealth are a punishment because God does not grant them the ability to enjoy them, but to the righteous they are a gift because He also gives the ability to enjoy them.  Finally the last part of verse 20 (of chapter 5), who wishes to reflect on days past when there is so much joy to be had now?  Of course this is not to say that our contentment is rooted in our joy merely that God keeps our days occupied with the gladness of living in the now.  No sense in dwelling on the past for it has already occurred and will not occur again; and no sense in dwelling on the future for it has not yet come and may never come according to God’s designs.

Marriage: The Little Things That Make Us Tick

Last week’s article, Marriage: Expectations versus Reality was a huge success.  Seriously, my average readership (based on those who read the blog as opposed to those that read the email) was up over 900%.  A special thanks goes out to the three people who clicked on the ad for the laxative medication, you know who you are.  Because of your support I was able to make $0.13 and as a result my family didn’t go hungry this week.  I’m kidding of course, I do not make any money off my blog, that right is reserved solely for WordPress, I merely write for the entertainment of others. Due to the widespread popularity of last week’s article I decided to give an encore presentation this week, however, instead of a continuation of the expectations versus reality theme I’ve decided to address some of the sillier things that couples fight about, but before we dive into that I would like to take a moment of silence to remember my fellow husbands in arms who have perished in the battles over toilet seat position…

Toilet Seat Position

Girls claim the seat should always be down (but rarely bother to close the lid); guys have the tendency to leave the lid up.  The battlefield of marriage is littered with the corpses of poor souls who have perished while defending their right to not have to bend over to close the lid.  What most women fail to realize is that men are typically very environmentally conscious and many of us spend our nights concerned about global warming.  Leaving the seat up is simply our way of combating said phenomenon.  You see, as water evaporates it serves as an overall cooling effect on the surrounding air, this means that leaving the lid up and the water in the bowl exposed to the atmosphere we are doing our part to help the environment and to offset our carbon footprint.* If you find that toilet seat position is a source of conflict in your marriage I recommend arm wrestling as a method of settling the disagreement, the winner determines ultimate seat position.

*Welcome to “A Clever Name for a Blog” where the science is made up and the facts don’t matter.

Toilet Paper: Over or Under

Couples often fight over the silliest little things, things that most unmarried people simply do not understand.  They do not understand because they have never been thrown into a whirlwind of change where every single detail of how you run your life is suddenly called into question, a life where you are simply looking for a single shred of normalcy amidst a tumultuous storm of chaos and change.  This battle is surprising considering the preponderance of evidence demonstrating that there is only one correct way to thread the toilet paper.  As the graphic above demonstrates the science is clear, over is the only way to go.  Additionally, there is a significant amount of evidence in the medical community that shows men who put the toilet paper under the roll are 47% more likely to develop prostate cancer later in life.  Do your part, fight cancer, use science, and put the toilet paper on the right direction.  Alternatively, you can use the tried and true method, a method guaranteed to annoy your spouse and guests alike; just place the roll on top of the dispensing apparatus.

Let me take a moment and speak to those of you who disagree with my thoughts on the matter.  I’m sorry that you are wrong, but the science* is irrefutable.  Compromise is the essence of respecting each other’s opinions, no matter how wrong yours may be.

 *Welcome to “A Clever Name for a Blog” where the science is made up and the facts don’t matter.

Where to Squeeze the Toothpaste Tube

If there is one thing that most often gets overlooked going into a marriage it is how your spouse squeezes the toothpaste tube.  Believe me, this is something you need to find out before you get married, before you make a lifelong commitment to somebody whose toothpaste practices should be in violation of the Geneva Convention.  There are those that try to argue that squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle is a sign of living life vicariously, of living a life beyond the structure society forces upon us.  They say these people are fun-loving and often the life of the party…  Yea, I don’t buy that.  You know the picture above that says “Some men just want to watch the world burn?”  Those are the type of people that squeeze the toothpaste tube in the middle.

Much like last week, this entire newsletter has been written in jest, however, each of the items listed above represents an actual conflict in a marriage.  Numerous couples all over the United States (I would say all over the world, but there are a number of places in the world that don’t use toothpaste… or toilet paper… or toilets for that matter) have had a fight about one of these items, some of them all three.  What often times is not communicated to newlyweds is that conflict is a normal part of any healthy marriage.  Notice I said a healthy marriage.  That’s right, conflict and how you learn to deal with it contributes to your overall wellbeing as a spouse.

Fair warning, if you’re not interested in hearing me get preachy about marriage you may want to skip the rest of this newsletter.  *Steps up on a soapbox*

There was a recent article in Time Magazine that sported a survey claiming that nearly half of millennials would support a two-year trial license on marriage. This is not to say that millennials are the only generation that has an issue with divorce rates, only that the divorce rates among millennials are bad and that they will likely get worse as more of them get married.  This breaks my heart because it represents a fundamental misunderstanding of what marriage is.  Millennials have, in large part, been raised with the mindset that conflict should be avoided at nearly any cost and this is starting to show up in their marriages.  When they first encounter conflict in their marriage they are not equipped with the tools to resolve that conflict and instead of sticking with it the easy solution is to seek an out.  Of course I don’t mean that the first time a couple fights they wind up getting divorced, but if that couple does not resolve the conflict it will keep snowballing until eventually an avalanche of anger and hurt feelings tears the relationship apart.  Marriage is a life-time commitment to another person regardless of your ability (or inability) to handle their problems or your own.  Marriage is a commitment to your spouse that says, “no matter what happens, I will always forgive you,” because in fact, this is exactly what Christ has said to us as believers.  “Child, no matter what happens, I will always love you and I will always forgive you.”**

So, J, A (does this make us cousin-in-laws?), remember that your vows constitute a commitment to each other to always forgive the other, regardless of if you feel like it, regardless of if they deserve it or not.  When things get tough, and believe me, they will; they may get tough enough that you start praying, “God, I meant it when I said ‘until death do us part,’ but I’m not certain how much more of this I can take so kill me now,” but when things get tough, remember just how much you have already been forgiven, and how much you have to forgive your spouse will pale in comparison.

**No, this isn’t a red-letter edition and no, that is not a direct quote from Scripture.