Failed Containment Protocol

I’ll start out with a side note, I’ve written a lot about this adoption, and I’ve even gone as far as to share his name since we have taken custody, but out of respect for privacy Leslie and I have elected to not post too many pictures publicly until the adoption is finalized in a few months. So the reason you may see a lot of pictures of Jack and Ayla but none of Nicolas is not because our adopted son has any less of a place in our home, we just want to give him some semblance of privacy until things are final.

This morning was… eventful. Ah, the joys of daylight savings time. Our church does not start until 1030 so it really should not matter, but this morning it did. We will be running two services at our church starting Easter and the nursery and greeting teams wanted to do a dry run this morning to make sure they had the timing down for everything so Leslie needed to be at church at 0845, not normally a problem, especially since our children have been getting up at 0615-0630 this past week. Even accounting for the time change getting up at 0715-0730 (getting a “full” night’s rest) should have left Leslie plenty of time to get ready and head to church while I got the kids up, dressed, fed, bathed, and into the car for church.IMG_0410Murphy’s Law took vengeance on us this morning. For the first time in a couple of weeks the kids all slept in until after 0700, or 0800 on this particularly delightful morning. Realizing what time it was Leslie jumped out of bed, showered, got dressed, and got the diaper bag and all of its necessary accompaniments ready so that I would not have to worry about it (and likely pack one of the kids a set of clothes that included both stripes and plaid). Rushing she got out the door just in time to make it to church while I sat the kids down for breakfast.

I was not in a rush as we still had over an hour and a half before we had to leave, but I did not sit and twiddle my thumbs either. I had one of the kids taking a bath while I was making waffles and feeding the other two pre-breakfast (pre-breakfast: the meal that immediately precedes breakfast and prevents children from starving to death, an impending event they will alert you to by shrieking loudly and demanding your undivided attention). We finished breakfast and I plopped the other two kids in the bath and made sure that an appropriate set of clothes and diapers had been laid out. I got Ayla out of the bath first and got her dried off and dressed and then let her play in Jack’s room while I got Jack bathed and dressed. Fortunately Nicolas was pretty much self-sufficient at this point. As I was drying off Jack Ayla looks up at me and makes eye contact before giving this primal shriek which was immediately followed by a particularly juicy and substance filled round of flatulence. Wonderful… I had just put a clean diaper on her and still needed to grab a shower before packing everyone up to get to church. I wasn’t running late but this certainly did not help.

In midst of managing time out for the boys for certain non-brotherly actions (or very brotherly actions depending on the perspective one takes) I changed Ayla’s diaper. After that I made sure that the boys were ready to go and managed to brush my own teeth during another round of time outs. As I was explaining to Nicolas why he had been in time out Ayla pulled herself up against me and smiled a big grin. I looked at her and smiled back and then turned my attention back to Nicolas. At this point I stood up and realized in horror that in the 10 seconds it had taken me to finish the conversation with Nicolas, Ayla had managed to poop with such great force that it ricocheted off of her diaper, out the back, and all the way up her shirt. She had managed to do this while standing up the entire time! I swear, this girl gives the word “explosive” a bad name. I’m still not quite certain that she did not manage to get any on the ceiling.

Fortunately I was able to wrangle Jack before he tracked through it too much and pulled off his socks. Then, while still holding Ayla at an awkward angle to getting poop all over myself, I grabbed the mop and quickly cleaned up the mess on the floor. I then took Ayla into the bathroom and stripped her down and gave her a second bath in 20 minutes. From there, I changed her into her second set of clothes (and 4th diaper of the morning so far) and then put her in the johnny jump to minimize the amount of damage she could do while I was taking my own shower. At this point I was starting to run late (by my own standards). I quickly took a shower and got dressed before practically flying back into the living room, half expecting that Ayla had pooped a third time and would be dancing around in a mess of her own creation. Fortunately that turned out to not be the case.

We put on a new round of socks for everyone and then finished getting shoes and coats on before heading out the door. Somehow we still managed to pull into church seven minutes before service started, just enough time to get the kids checked in to the nursery before making my way upstairs. This is what my life amounts to right now, making twice as many meals and giving twice as many baths as should be necessary during a given period of time.


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