Cross Eyed and Clueless

I struggled to find a good picture for this week but nothing presented itself.  Then I thought about trying to find a picture that showed how blurry things are for me right now, but then that presented a Catch 22; any picture that was adequately blurry would appear even worse to me in my current state.  After spending some thought on the matter I decided not to include a picture, instead, I challenge you to read this entire newsletter cross-eyed; that ought to get you to about where I am.

I have to admit, this week has been kind of rough.  It turns out my doctor was a bit optimistic about the recovery time for my surgery.  First a little bit of back story.  Last Monday, when I went in for my final consult the doctor told me that he would recommend PRK (photorefractive keratectomy) over LASIK.  When I asked why he stated that due to thickness of my epithelial layer PRK would be the better option; in addition he stated that overall it should provide more stable results.  He also stated that the recovery time would be a little bit longer but that I should be able to see reasonably after two to four days (vs one to two for LASIK).  When I got home I did some reading up on PRK and the differences between it and LASIK.  With LASIK, an incision is made in the top layer of the cornea (epithelial) and it is peeled back to expose the cornea for reshaping; with PRK the entire epithelial is chemically dissolved and allowed to regrow upon completion of the surgery.  Most literature I found online said that the typical recovery time was about one week for restored functional vision and that it would continue to improve over the next couple of months.

Immediately after the surgery I noticed an improvement in my vision, not perfect, but certainly better than it had been.  Saturday morning I had a follow up appointment to check my vision (20/50) ensure everything had gone well; it was during this appointment that I was told my vision would likely get worse prior to getting better.  He told me that I would probably start blurring up and seeing double the next day, but by Monday, maybe Tuesday, it should start clearing up.  He was right, sort of.  Sunday evening I noticed a distinct worsening of my vision.  Monday, was a little worse, but I could still make out writing on my computer screen if I got up close.  From there it went even further downhill.  By Tuesday I was blurred (and seeing double) enough that I couldn’t make out anything on my laptop and watching TV or reading was out of the question.  Not to mention the severe discomfort I had almost constantly, again I was told this was all normal.

I had another follow up appointment on Wednesday of the following week to check my vision (20/70) and remove the “bandage” contact lenses that had been placed in my eyes to protect the cornea.  I have never before looked as forward to a doctor’s appointment as I was this one.  During this appointment I asked the doctor about my worsening vision and continuing discomfort.  He told me that it was entirely normal and that it wasn’t unusual for this to last one to two weeks.  At the time he had a couple of sharp instruments near my eyes so I wasn’t feeling confrontational enough to bring up the two to four days he originally told me.

I’m sitting here typing this up on Thursday afternoon and my vision still hasn’t really improved much beyond what it was on Monday; I’ve got the screen zoomed into 160% so that I can see well enough to ensure I’m not making any basic spelling errors.  It has been an extremely frustrating week, I’ve felt next to useless at work being unable to utilize my computer and I keep getting called “Goose” by my employees due to the fact that I wear my (aviators) sunglasses indoors due to my light sensitivity.  I have to admit, that last part kept me smiling.  Despite this, I remain optimistic, while my vision has not been substantially restored; today was the first day that I was not in a great deal of pain/discomfort; on top of that I periodically am getting brief moments where I get a distinct clarity to my vision… of course, it immediately clouds up afterwards.

Throughout the week Leslie has been very supportive, especially when I give her big puppy dog eyes and remind her that I am poor and pathetic because I just went through “major” surgery.  Additionally, I’ve kept my sense of humor and, in fact, I’m sitting here struggling not to laugh as Jack makes faces at me through the mesh of his Pack ‘N’ Play/crib, trying to get me to smile even though he’s supposed to be taking a nap.  It’s nearly impossible not to smile back even though I know doing so will just encourage him and further distract him from his nap.

This afternoon I made myself a batch of chocolate chip cookies.  After pulling them out of the oven and biting into the first one I decided that I needed a glass of milk.  Much to my dismay, when I opened the refrigerator I discovered that we were out of milk.  It was at that point that I realized that I have sunk to an all-time parenting low, for a period of time greater than I would care to admit, I tried to decide whether or not baby formula was a satisfactory substitute.

I’m going to let that close things out before I go blind trying to write anymore… well, anymore blind than I already am.

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