I had my LASIK surgery on Friday and I’m still a little blurry so this newsletter will be shorter than most due to the fact that I can barely make out the words on the screen, even with the font at 300%. That said, the doctor said this morning that my vision was right where it was supposed to be at this point in the recovery, so… I will say this, as someone who has never had major surgery before (or any kind of surgery, really), this has got to be one of the more unnatural surgeries medical science has come up with. Somewhere between taping your eyelids, basting your eyeball with a sponge, and shooting a laser directly into it, this type of surgery has to take the cake.
This past weekend was Mother’s Day and as I perused my Facebook newsfeed it struck me how many people on there were claiming that they had the best mother in the world. It got me thinking, statistically speaking this cannot be true… well it is unlikely to be true anyhow. In order for a best mother in the world to even exist there have to be thousands of mothers who are only statistically average. Now, it is possible, however unlikely, that most of the people I am friends with on Facebook do have the statistically best mothers in the world, but the odds of this being true are, well… astronomical. Now, if we look at this on an individual, case by case basis things aren’t much better because most people in the world only have one mother (and in the cases where multiple mothers are involved I would wager to say that in most of those cases it is very clear who the “best” mother is), this means that the mother is simultaneously the greatest mother AND the worst mother. Ouch. Nevertheless, Mom, I still think you’re the greatest and if nothing else, thanks for the free womb and board.
I am now the proud owner of the greatest window decal in several galaxies, including one located far, far away.
For the first time in six years I am working with another guy named Derek and it throws me off every single morning. Up until college I had only ever met one other Derrick, but during my senior year I had three Derriks (Derek, Derrik, and Derrick) in my capstone design class. In a class of 14 people we had three Derriks, two Jons, and two Kyles. Anyway, every morning as we go around the room during our plan of the day meeting and the name is Derek is called I have to fight down the urge to respond that “Weren’t you listening, I’ve already covered my planned activities.” I feel like walking up to him and saying, “This site isn’t big enough for the both of us.”
That’s all you get this week, I’m going to bail while I’m still able to see my toes if I squint.