Merely Stating the Obvious

This Friday/Saturday kind of snuck up on me so I didn’t have a whole lot of time to carefully craft my newsletter as I typically do.  As a result what you will see below is a random sampling of amusing anecdotes that I encountered over the week rather than a few stories that tie together to support a coherent thesis.  Oh who am I kidding?  The only difference is my stories are a bit shorter than normal this week.


As I was browsing Facebook this week, the ad above showed up on my screen.  Several things struck me about this, not all at the same time, mind you, rather a series of thoughts leading to the reaffirmation of the conclusion that I am just a big dork.  What stuck out was the headline, “Stuff for Smart Masses.”  Other than being poorly worded, I couldn’t help but think, “You’re trying to sell Jedi Snuggies, how smart can your target demographic be?”  Then I remembered that the reason this ad popped up was probably because of my recent browsing of the various dorky items at the ThinkGeek website.  Then I remembered that I own a product very similar to this, something I had custom made in high school, something I have worn as recently as a few months ago.  I’m proud of my Sith robe… yea, I’m a dork.  Need more proof, check out the top right picture of the May issue of my high school senior year.

Jedi Cloak

Leslie and I went into town last week and as we were going we ran into a line of cars going pretty slow. They were led by a police car and they all had their headlights on.  Now, in the back of my head, I knew this was a funeral procession but all I could think was, “Hey, it’s a vehicular conga line, let’s join in!”  Of course, at this point, Leslie was not very pleased with me.   But, hey, it was a conga line.  What was I supposed to do?  Not join in?

I think I might be failing at this whole parenting thing.  A guy from work asked how if Jack was sleeping through the night.  I gave him a puzzled look and told him, “As far as we know.”  I mean, what kind of question is that?  “Honey, the baby’s crying.”  “It’s OK, turn the TV up.”

This past week Apple announced that they will have a 7:1 split in their stock in June.  Even though I do not agree with their corporate philosophy I decided that now would probably be a good time to invest in a few shares of their stock.  The problem is, now I’m stuck rooting for a company whose business practices I detest.  It’s like rooting for Texas to beat Oklahoma State so that Oklahoma can take the Big XII title… it’s just wrong on a fundamental level, yet I have to do so because now I have a material stake in the matter (or in the case of football, bragging rights over a couple of guys in the office).

Next week I’m going in to have Lasik surgery done on my eyes, the guy who runs the donut shop/Chinese food restaurant in town is offering a special, two eyes for the price of one; which is nice because from what I was looking at I was only going to be able to afford one eye.   A number of people have expressed surprise when they find out that I’ve been wearing contacts for 11 years.  I’m not really sure why, contacts are nearly invisible when they’re worn.  I guess it could be because I’ve only taken them out approximately three times in the past 11 years.  I exaggerate of course, but not by much.  I’ve had to wear my glasses for the previous two and a half weeks in order to let my eye resume to its natural shape and I’ve now worn my glasses longer in the past two and a half weeks than in the prior 11 years combined.  But seriously, Dr. Hu Rui Yu* seems great.  I swear though, I felt like I was in such an existential quandary when I walked up to the door of his office and saw Hu R. Yu on it.  I mean, come on, I came in to see if I was a candidate for Lasik surgery, not to answer questions about my existence in this world.

With that, I am satisfied to conclude this week’s narrative of the random things I thought about this week.  Stay tuned next week to hear the story of how how I consumed an assortment of nearly a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts before my lunch break and the aftermath of that particular course of action.


2 thoughts on “Merely Stating the Obvious

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