This Friday/Saturday kind of snuck up on me so I didn’t have a whole lot of time to carefully craft my newsletter as I typically do. As a result what you will see below is a random sampling of amusing anecdotes that I encountered over the week rather than a few stories that tie together to support a coherent thesis. Oh who am I kidding? The only difference is my stories are a bit shorter than normal this week.
As I was browsing Facebook this week, the ad above showed up on my screen. Several things struck me about this, not all at the same time, mind you, rather a series of thoughts leading to the reaffirmation of the conclusion that I am just a big dork. What stuck out was the headline, “Stuff for Smart Masses.” Other than being poorly worded, I couldn’t help but think, “You’re trying to sell Jedi Snuggies, how smart can your target demographic be?” Then I remembered that the reason this ad popped up was probably because of my recent browsing of the various dorky items at the ThinkGeek website. Then I remembered that I own a product very similar to this, something I had custom made in high school, something I have worn as recently as a few months ago. I’m proud of my Sith robe… yea, I’m a dork. Need more proof, check out the top right picture of the May issue of my high school senior year.
Leslie and I went into town last week and as we were going we ran into a line of cars going pretty slow. They were led by a police car and they all had their headlights on. Now, in the back of my head, I knew this was a funeral procession but all I could think was, “Hey, it’s a vehicular conga line, let’s join in!” Of course, at this point, Leslie was not very pleased with me. But, hey, it was a conga line. What was I supposed to do? Not join in?
I think I might be failing at this whole parenting thing. A guy from work asked how if Jack was sleeping through the night. I gave him a puzzled look and told him, “As far as we know.” I mean, what kind of question is that? “Honey, the baby’s crying.” “It’s OK, turn the TV up.”
This past week Apple announced that they will have a 7:1 split in their stock in June. Even though I do not agree with their corporate philosophy I decided that now would probably be a good time to invest in a few shares of their stock. The problem is, now I’m stuck rooting for a company whose business practices I detest. It’s like rooting for Texas to beat Oklahoma State so that Oklahoma can take the Big XII title… it’s just wrong on a fundamental level, yet I have to do so because now I have a material stake in the matter (or in the case of football, bragging rights over a couple of guys in the office).
Next week I’m going in to have Lasik surgery done on my eyes, the guy who runs the donut shop/Chinese food restaurant in town is offering a special, two eyes for the price of one; which is nice because from what I was looking at I was only going to be able to afford one eye. A number of people have expressed surprise when they find out that I’ve been wearing contacts for 11 years. I’m not really sure why, contacts are nearly invisible when they’re worn. I guess it could be because I’ve only taken them out approximately three times in the past 11 years. I exaggerate of course, but not by much. I’ve had to wear my glasses for the previous two and a half weeks in order to let my eye resume to its natural shape and I’ve now worn my glasses longer in the past two and a half weeks than in the prior 11 years combined. But seriously, Dr. Hu Rui Yu* seems great. I swear though, I felt like I was in such an existential quandary when I walked up to the door of his office and saw Hu R. Yu on it. I mean, come on, I came in to see if I was a candidate for Lasik surgery, not to answer questions about my existence in this world.
With that, I am satisfied to conclude this week’s narrative of the random things I thought about this week. Stay tuned next week to hear the story of how how I consumed an assortment of nearly a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts before my lunch break and the aftermath of that particular course of action.