WARNING! The following paragraph is not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach. If you are prone to nausea or vomiting as adverse reactions to the mention of bodily excretions you may want to skip the next 144 words.
I don’t care what kind of parenting training they send you to, nothing can prepare you for a full blown stage 4 poop emergency. We are talking about Category 5 hurricane levels of diaper explosions. It probably wouldn’t have been so bad if panic had not set in early… granted, panic would not have set in early if it were not for the fact that the nature of the emergency wasn’t discovered until after a routine check of the child (involving picking him up and holding him in my arms) that I noticed an unidentified substance leaking down my forearms. After that point it was all downhill, involving quite a bit of panicked yelling mixed with running around looking for a suitable surface upon which to lay the leaking child and soap strong enough to eliminate all vestiges of said leak from my forearm.
We finally arrived in Lubbock on Tuesday and after having spent two weeks being chased from one location to another by the snow it should be no surprise how our trip went. We left Austin Tuesday morning with the temperature just below freezing and a slight mist coating the roads. Fortunately, the temperatures the previous two days had been well above freezing so the roads were still warm enough to prevent any ice from forming.
The first couple of hours went pretty smoothly, but then we stopped in Bradley, TX for diesel, breakfast, and a diaper change. Just west of Bradley we hit a stretch of road covered in ice… it just so happened that this stretch went on for the next 117 miles, so for the next 4.5 hours we crept along at 25 mph sliding all over the road, going just slow enough that I could control the slides whenever they occurred. Surprisingly, the camper actually acted as a stabilizing influence behind the truck. We were fortunate in that after we hit Sweetwater the roads cleared up and it was smooth sailing the rest of the way to Lubbock.
The light rain continued for most of our drive and the temperatures never got above 25 ͦF after we hit Bradley. As we drove I watched the ice buildup on my radio antenna and other vehicle surfaces. By the time we had arrived in Lubbock I had a solid ½” thick sheet of ice built up over the back side of my side mirrors. In addition, it was cold enough that little stalactites started forming around the center of my rims… that was pretty cool, I had never seen that before. The thing to keep in mind about my pictures, all this ice formed while I was moving! The icicles around the hubcaps made it look like I was driving one of those cars that belong in a cartoon demolition derby.
I relate all this to say one thing: Get it together Atlanta (and Raleigh), if this guy can drive on ice for 117 miles without ever going off the road there is absolutely no reason why either of the pictures below should happen.
Of course, it shouldn’t be entirely surprising that two days after we arrived the temperatures reached 70 degrees again. Well, to pretty much everyone else in the country, neener neener, I may go out and try to catch a tan this afternoon, and not an artificial one that makes people turn orange over time.